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Bitterness does not own Our Joy Choices

awomanwhochosejoy

One of my friends posted this today and it struck me how profound and life changing this one thought has been in my life. I haven’t always handled bitterness well. How I wish I could say I’ve finally learned this lesson and never choose bitterness over being better, but bitterness is undaunting.

Bitterness comes to us in the fierceness of our circumstances and then, he comforts us with all kinds of reassurances, such as he only wants to create safe havens for our hearts. And it can be hard to decipher because Bitterness makes room for himself and then leaves no room for situations or people that can potentially hurt us. But in all actuality, bitterness extinguishes life. That’s exactly what he does. There is life and joy and this desire to become better but he undermines and isolates us until we can’t no longer see the Joy choices.

But it’s what I want. I want to choose to freely forgive and freely embrace every day I’m given. Sometimes giving up the comfort of bitterness cannot be seen in the moment. I find bitterness makes it so easy to cling to him. And then there is that hurt factor. No one wants to be hurt. I’ve been so hurt by factors in and out of my control.

There are people who have worse circumstances than me and then people who might have better circumstances. But this is my moment, my life, I want to choose my joy over bitterness. Choose to say “I’m sorry”, chose to love, chose to let people know I am glad they are part of my life. Bitterness does not own me, he does not  have the right to choose my Joy moments.

I’ve not always done everything perfect in giving up bitterness. This past September was my first born’s wedding. Things have been tough in the last 3 years but this was one of those “choosing” moments. Setting aside bitterness for joy and dancing with my son, who I am so very proud of. I cherish this picture as much as his baby picture.

When your Joy Embraces Your Past Hurts

awomanwhochosejoy

I don’t know how this happened? Could I explain this phenomenon away? Could I somehow capture this emotion and show the world what this feels like? I don’t know? But I feel compelled in my journey to share this raw, unrehearsed moment.

And this is it. My joy embraced a past hurt this a.m. One may say, what’s the big deal? But hurt, she is this powerful source. She comes in like this horrible, terrific blizzard swirling around and filling every part of you. She isn’t happy until she encompasses and freezes your entire heart. And she settles in. It changes you. You become cold to your surroundings, to people’s desires to get close to you. Hurt, she is an internal storm that if let go, will destroy every part of what makes your heart warm and inviting.

My moment of “a joy embracing hurt” came this morning when someone was sharing a hurt with me. I felt such deep empathy. It took me back to this same kind of hurt I once had. I suddenly realized there was no way I could have been this compassionate, if I had not been thru this same kind of hurt too. And then, in this moment, I found myself with great joy! Joy that my past hurt was not all for loss, but also, for gain for someone else.

I don’t want to be hurt. I wish at times I didn’t have the memories of Hurts, I have endured. Hurt doesn’t care about me and I try hard to not let her make me this cold, resentful person. But I know Joy can win over hurt. It’s happened to me. I’ve had people embrace me thru my hurts and I’ve made a choice to try to be that kind of person too.

I with no hesitation, told my friend to let go of their hurt. I know what’s on the other side. Sometimes being this vulnerable isn’t easy. Sometimes, letting the storm of hurt have its way, yes, it’s easier. But letting joy Embrace your past hurts in order to help someone else, it’s selfless and beautiful. That’s what I want.