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I have written about this before but I woke up early and had more thoughts about this struggle. And even in writing this, I had to laugh for a moment. I wanted more of a representation of “me” for my quote pic. But I sifted through hundreds of pics and all of the samples were these dark and exotic looking women. So, I was distracted even while writing this and actually, taken back how fast comparison can appear as an unwelcomed guest. I think no matter how confident you are in yourself, we can all struggle when comparison knocks on our door. She appears as this friend at first. But she’s not! She will strangle your happiness and not be happy until she introduces her evil sidekick, Depression.

I know at times this can apply to men. But women sometimes fall more easily into the trap of “Do I make the Beauty cut?” And really, it can pretty unfair to us as “real women.” Our world is so over saturated with air brushed, fake women, who on the glossy covers can appear, not almost perfect, but actually, totally perfect. You can’t compete with an airbrush and photoshop. You are real, with bad hair days, and days you give everything you have to others.

Comparison will come in and blatantly point out your flaws. If you are blond she will tell you, “you’d be so much more appealing as a brunette.” If you have dark eyes, she will whisper “If only you had blue, everyone would like you.” It will never end because she is relentless. She will take everything that makes you “You” and try to turn you into someone else.

In the end, it robs your joy. It robs you as this person you were meant to be. Comparison has no boundaries. She will continually attempt to cut at your beautiful individuality, until what you have left is not true. I observe people and ask myself,  “why do women, including me, need affirmation more than once”? I wonder, “why am I built this way”? Why do my friends seem built this way? And I had this understanding, just now. I was going thru the quote pics wondering what I would look like with dark hair and dark eyes? Would I be more appealing, more exotic? But it doesn’t matter, if I transformed myself into someone else, I wouldn’t be me. And what an “Ah-Ha” moment to realize this truth. Comparison never stops her relentless pursuit. Our need for healthy reassurances from people around us , isn’t always a bad thing. So, you can also,  kick guilt to the curb if he makes his appearance. He often chooses to join forces with comparison.

So, for today, I choose joy in being myself. There is so much more to the intricate, complicated, and amazing human species called “woman” than just what one perceives as beauty. Comparisons standards are fleeting, she doesn’t see me when I am loving someone or being kind. Comparison’s eyes see me thru a standard I can never meet. It’s that simple. I choose today to tell comparison, “I have no room for her because Joy lives in her spot.”

I want to purposefully surround myself with people who build me up, who see inner beauty when comparison tells me it doesn’t count. And I find, having those friends who always go out of their way to make me feel beautiful, yes, that helps too, even if  I’m having having the worse hair day.  And It’s a two-way street, I want to be that human who also, builds other human’s up. 😘

So, this funny thing happened to me this week. I got this text message from a friend that said “You are a fantastic human.” And I laughed. I don’t really put myself in this category of being a fantastic human. At times, I just consider myself human, with No adjectives attached.

So, it made me think? What really makes a fantastic human?

Does being a fantastic human mean you’ve helped saved the world? Does it mean you are an inventor of extraordinary things? Does it mean you’ve done some great worthy act, recognized by millions? I don’t know, in the back of my mind, that’s what I always thought being a fantastic human entailed.

But, then I start thinking about my life, and maybe I’m wrong? Because when I think, who has been there for me? It’s not these obscure people who have changed my world. I’m amazed when I really stopped to think about those humans who traded being selfish to pour into my life.

So, here are some of the humans who have touched my life. I put them all in my “fantastic human” category.

❤️It was my friend that drove five hours, when I was going through the worst hell of my life. She told me I was strong and I could make it. She is a fantastic human.

❤️It’s my Mom And Dad, who came to my house to do a simple repair of a leaking toilet, only to find that it had ruined my sub flooring, and it turned into this big bathroom remodel. Yes, they are fantastic humans.

❤️It’s my friend who came without prompting,after I had a fire, and ended up with smoke inhalation, to sit with me in the hospital, all night long. He has been there for me so many times, just steadfast and caring. Again, he is a fantastic human.

❤️It’s a group of my closet friends, who have stuck by my side thru everything, and made me feel like a good mom, even when my entire world was crumbling. They made me laugh, even when I’ve had tears. These girls, they are all fantastic humans.

❤️Then, my church, full of grace, who welcomed me in. I thought I was really done with the holier-than-thou churches, but they loved me. All of those people are fantastic, incredible people.

So, my entire life I’ve had this misconception what an extraordinary, fantastic human should look like. These people who invested in me will never get a Pulitzer Prize or a trophy for being there for me. But, when it’s all said and done, they are fantastic humans. They took the time to care about me and that’s pretty fantastic in my book.