Author: awomanwhochosejoy

Having Joy in Being Fearlessly Authentic

https://awomanwhochosejoy.com/2018/02/05/having-joy-in-being-fearlessly-authentic/

I was so touched this past week when a lady came up to me and shared an authentic, painful life experience. She wanted to tell me my blog encouraged her and in turn gave her a desire to help a hurting friend. I have to admit I was not only humbled and also deeply touched . This single joy moment spurs me on to keep writing and exploring this adventure of having a blog. And then, there is tonight-(long sigh) . I find sleep alluding me, trying to entice me to join him and then at the last minute disappearing as if a vapor. But in these moments I long to write, so,maybe it’s not all bad.

I was thinking this weekend about the price we pay to become authentic. It is hard sometimes. We try so hard to impress people. We are so busy in portraying we have it all together, that we sometimes miss these joy moments in sharing our journey. Why does this thing called pride attempt to reach out with her tentacles to strangle the authenticity of what makes us, real? And I think everyone succumbs to this plight to a certain extent, but I don’t want to.

I am a single mom. I get discouraged, I don’t always feel strong. There are times when people will stop and ask me how I am doing? I normally just want to answer, “amazing!” But perhaps real truth at that moment is “i’m feeling overwhelmed”, or not strong. But Of course, being authentic makes you vulnerable, so most times I don’t answer that way. Then Pride, she throws back her shoulder, bears her sword of “I got it all together” and chases away the beauty of being authentic.

This weekend I thought about the people I have in my life right now. And I don’t know, but for me, I’m drawn to authentic people. I like being around people who are confident but yet, can still be real with me. If you need to test the authenticity of current people in your life, walk thru the fire and see who is on the other side ready to embrace you, scars and all. Now, that is authenticity, in its purest form.

I don’t want to just be authentic, I want to be fearlessly authentic! I want to experience joy because I chose being authentic over the pride. It’s not easier, it’s a lot harder, but it results in these beautiful, amazing relationships. I for one, want to be that authentic, fearless person standing on the other side of the fire: My scars and all of me, with open arms, embracing authenticity.

Journey Update 1/27 -a Woman Who Chose Joy

https://awomanwhochosejoy.com/2018/01/27/journey-update-1-27-a-woman-who-chose-joy/

Let’s be honest most amazing breezeway ever !

It’s been 27 days since I started blogging. When I started out I thought it would be just about this year of my life and my journey. But it’s morphed more into heart thoughts. I wanted to share some of my triumphs and fears of this single mom stuff.

I’ve now looked at 3 houses live and hundreds on the internet. maybe even thousands, lol! I’ve also looked at 2 or 3 lots of land and that has been an adventure.

To be honest, sometimes I don’t feel qualified. I’m on this threshold of making such big decisions and I worry that I’m not making all the right ones. Wonder if I destroy my kids happiness if I chose wrong? I know that sounds ridiculous but honestly, that thought has crept in and tried to make a home in my thoughts.

And house hunting isn’t like tv shows at all! This one particular house was amazing on the outside. And when you got inside it was so odd. The rooms were all like afterthoughts. The bedrooms were 8×8 at best and they had random things like very narrow passage ways. But not in a cool way like a Narnia movie. I wanted to find some wardrobe in this house and pass into another realm! And this other house was totally amazing in its setting. I could imagine sitting on the patio with my morning coffee. But it needs a new roof? I argue with myself back and forth.

I’m not discouraged but i find myself losing excitement. And I stop to take a true look at myself. Do I want too much? Do I feel a need for my kids to recreate their exact space they were accustomed to? Wow, that’s very hard to think about. I made hard decisions to be free of things so really, I need to embrace this freedom being able to make these decisions.

When this started I told myself I would have joy in this journey. I want to regroup and focus on what matters. My kids, my family, and my friends. I will keep looking for a house, I actually do love seeing how others have made a house their home. I would love to know some of those stories. And I will continue journaling my adventure and someday laugh about tiny little rooms and passages.

via Hold On My Child, Joy Comes in the Morning 🎶