Yesterday, I was invited for coffee and I have to be honest, I almost didn’t go. I had a rough night the night before and I woke up feeling tired. My hair was a mess and you could tell I had not had much sleep. I just wanted to stick my hair in a pony tail and drink coffee, by myself, where no one could see me. But we had already had one coffee date canceled and I was really needing some friend time.
I jumped out of bed and realized, “wow, not only did I only get 3 hours of sleep but I looked like it too. And no amount of magic was going to change that. I stood looking in the mirror…and she arrived as if on queue, “Insecurity”. She didn’t even attempt to mask her insults but came full force.
Insecurity wanted to know “who did I think I was?” Everyone would notice my lack of sleep. Everyone else would look so much better and I might embarrass my friends. I tried to reason with her but she pushed my feelings aside. “Insecurity” comes to rip Joy out of our hearts. She comes, at times as this small ember and quickly becomes a raging fire as we give her entrance.
“Insecurity” has this way to use our past hurts and words said by others, as kindling to start her fire. But sometimes the potential of things that we want to experience will extinguish “Insecurities” flames that so easily grip us.
On this day, I washed my face, and put on one of my favorite scarves and told “Insecurity”‘she would have to leave. I’m not always successful in that behavior, but this day I was. I finally arrived at the coffee house in a flurry. And I confessed to my friends that I had almost not come, because of my insecurities. Then my friend said this sweet, short prayer and imbedded these words, “we can come as we are.” I had to choke back tears. She then said “Becky don’t you know you can “come as you are.” It was profound and I immediately felt this great joy of that simple truth. These two friends were totally accepting me. It was a great gift.
It made me realize how often we put too much energy into trying to make ourselves into something we aren’t. And we do this but for people who don’t really care about us. I want to surround myself with “Come as you Are” people. I want to accept others with the gift of “Come as you are.” I wonder if people realize how many opportunities they miss by not embracing the “Come as you Are” philosophy. I want to be the “Come as You are” person and choose joy.
A woman who chose joy 