I have written about this before but I woke up early and had more thoughts about this struggle. And even in writing this, I had to laugh for a moment. I wanted more of a representation of “me” for my quote pic. But I sifted through hundreds of pics and all of the samples were these dark and exotic looking women. So, I was distracted even while writing this and actually, taken back how fast comparison can appear as an unwelcomed guest. I think no matter how confident you are in yourself, we can all struggle when comparison knocks on our door. She appears as this friend at first. But she’s not! She will strangle your happiness and not be happy until she introduces her evil sidekick, Depression.
I know at times this can apply to men. But women sometimes fall more easily into the trap of “Do I make the Beauty cut?” And really, it can pretty unfair to us as “real women.” Our world is so over saturated with air brushed, fake women, who on the glossy covers can appear, not almost perfect, but actually, totally perfect. You can’t compete with an airbrush and photoshop. You are real, with bad hair days, and days you give everything you have to others.
Comparison will come in and blatantly point out your flaws. If you are blond she will tell you, “you’d be so much more appealing as a brunette.” If you have dark eyes, she will whisper “If only you had blue, everyone would like you.” It will never end because she is relentless. She will take everything that makes you “You” and try to turn you into someone else.
In the end, it robs your joy. It robs you as this person you were meant to be. Comparison has no boundaries. She will continually attempt to cut at your beautiful individuality, until what you have left is not true. I observe people and ask myself, “why do women, including me, need affirmation more than once”? I wonder, “why am I built this way”? Why do my friends seem built this way? And I had this understanding, just now. I was going thru the quote pics wondering what I would look like with dark hair and dark eyes? Would I be more appealing, more exotic? But it doesn’t matter, if I transformed myself into someone else, I wouldn’t be me. And what an “Ah-Ha” moment to realize this truth. Comparison never stops her relentless pursuit. Our need for healthy reassurances from people around us , isn’t always a bad thing. So, you can also, kick guilt to the curb if he makes his appearance. He often chooses to join forces with comparison.
So, for today, I choose joy in being myself. There is so much more to the intricate, complicated, and amazing human species called “woman” than just what one perceives as beauty. Comparisons standards are fleeting, she doesn’t see me when I am loving someone or being kind. Comparison’s eyes see me thru a standard I can never meet. It’s that simple. I choose today to tell comparison, “I have no room for her because Joy lives in her spot.”
I want to purposefully surround myself with people who build me up, who see inner beauty when comparison tells me it doesn’t count. And I find, having those friends who always go out of their way to make me feel beautiful, yes, that helps too, even if I’m having having the worse hair day. And It’s a two-way street, I want to be that human who also, builds other human’s up. 😘 
A woman who chose joy 