Have Joy, Wear the Lipstick 💄

It came full force this a.m., hitting me like an invisible force, a life of his own and breathing negativity into my face. It was hurt. He came in swirling around me and planned on settling in for the day.

I had this flashback from a couple years ago. I was knee deep in 5 kids, including nursing a baby, which in its own right can be a full time job. I had not been out of my house much and was feeling blue. My kids had an opportunity to go skating and I jumped at the chance to go see some humans that I wasn’t nursing, changing diapers for, or calling me mama. 😂.

I was getting ready to run out the door because with 5 kids it always takes longer than you think, and inevitably there is one child who decides shoes are optional. I glance at myself in the mirror and decide to throw some lipstick on. Not just your everyday, mundane lipstick….no, it was this incredible shade of red that made me feel like deep inside, there was still a woman.

So, we get there and I’m helping put skates on 5 kids and have this moment where I can finally talk to some humans at my own eye level. My first encounter was with this lady, she looks at me and says, in this demeaning way….”why are you wearing lipstick in the middle of the day?” Immediately! Hurt, he came, full force. The other ladies standing around hold their breath, I stand there contemplating my reply. Hurt settles in quickly, rubbing his hands together, delighted to add insults to the mix. Words race around my head. I say. “I wear it because it makes me feel good.” Hurt is outraged and continues whispering very different, spiteful words in my ear. I ignore him, smile, and continue polite conversation.

To have that memory come back this morning surprised me? That lady didn’t wear lipstick and that was her choice. But that one moment changed me. I decided I would wear the lipstick and have joy in that small action. Wearing lipstick won’t change the world, but for me it makes me happy.

Hurt, he can shape our world if we let him. I could have left that day and vowed to never wear lipstick again. But I chose to be kind and realize that the things I say can hurt people. Other people’s differences are not for me to judge. I’m not perfect though, I’ve also had to learn this lesson many times when I’ve hurt others.

I look back at that day and now I wear the lipstick, I wear the perfume to the grocery store, I don’t save my “good” shoes. I never want to look back on my life and see that I gave up the red lipstick because of hurt. I think so many people give up “wearing the lipstick” and instead let the hurt settle in their heart for the duration. Everyday I want to Choose joy and wear the lipstick.