Journey Update 1/27 -a Woman Who Chose Joy

Let’s be honest most amazing breezeway ever !

It’s been 27 days since I started blogging. When I started out I thought it would be just about this year of my life and my journey. But it’s morphed more into heart thoughts. I wanted to share some of my triumphs and fears of this single mom stuff.

I’ve now looked at 3 houses live and hundreds on the internet. maybe even thousands, lol! I’ve also looked at 2 or 3 lots of land and that has been an adventure.

To be honest, sometimes I don’t feel qualified. I’m on this threshold of making such big decisions and I worry that I’m not making all the right ones. Wonder if I destroy my kids happiness if I chose wrong? I know that sounds ridiculous but honestly, that thought has crept in and tried to make a home in my thoughts.

And house hunting isn’t like tv shows at all! This one particular house was amazing on the outside. And when you got inside it was so odd. The rooms were all like afterthoughts. The bedrooms were 8×8 at best and they had random things like very narrow passage ways. But not in a cool way like a Narnia movie. I wanted to find some wardrobe in this house and pass into another realm! And this other house was totally amazing in its setting. I could imagine sitting on the patio with my morning coffee. But it needs a new roof? I argue with myself back and forth.

I’m not discouraged but i find myself losing excitement. And I stop to take a true look at myself. Do I want too much? Do I feel a need for my kids to recreate their exact space they were accustomed to? Wow, that’s very hard to think about. I made hard decisions to be free of things so really, I need to embrace this freedom being able to make these decisions.

When this started I told myself I would have joy in this journey. I want to regroup and focus on what matters. My kids, my family, and my friends. I will keep looking for a house, I actually do love seeing how others have made a house their home. I would love to know some of those stories. And I will continue journaling my adventure and someday laugh about tiny little rooms and passages.